Life, Lifestyle, Self-Improvement

How to deal with disappointments, setbacks and regrets

2014/08/28 11

Today, I’ve decided to write a post that I’ve meant to make for a while. Let’s talk about disappointments, setbacks and regrets that we face in our lives and how to deal with them. Most of us make plans about what we want to do and where we want to go in our future, whether it’s getting to college, moving to a different country, accomplishing your goal, getting a job or, etc. We think that life is going to go according to our plan, which we made in our mind. We become so attached to this idea that it’s incredibly hard to let go of it but sometimes life forces us to do that. The moment when you realize that you made a mistake, and your life won’t be the same again, or you missed a big opportunity or maybe something that you wanted so badly didn’t happen, can make you feel hopeless and powerless. You start to feel hurt and sorry for yourself.

When I first faced such a situation I didn’t know what to do, I was deeply sad and frustrated with my life. It felt like it’s the end of the world, and I didn’t know how to get myself out of the sadness. We are all humans and have emotions, however what’s important is to realize that time goes on and your disappointments, setbacks and regrets are irreversible. It’s painful to accept this, I know, but it’s the only way to move forward. Only in the face of a tough moment you become stronger as a person. Don’t expect yourself to get back to normal the next day, it’s ok to give yourself time to feel sad and depressed but it’s crucial to get back up. I understand how hard it is to get back up, it feels like all you want to do is cry, lay on the floor and feel sorry for yourself. However, in a week, month or year, you will get back up, I’m sure you will because time heals and it will heal you too.

What I’m trying to say is never to give up and keep fighting. Stop comparing your life to others and start hoping for a better future. If you’re currently in such a low state, I recommend you to talk to someone about what torments you. It can be a friend, sibling, parent, counselor, anybody who will understand you. If not, then take a piece of paper and write everything down that you feel, write until you have nothing to say. The most important is to not dwell in your negativity because negativity brings more negativity in your life, so find courage in yourself (everyone has the courage) to shift your mindset, accept your reality and move forward.

Ways to help you feel better and change your mindset. For me, it was tough to stop being negative, so to see the results you need to be very persistent.

1. Make a gratitude list before you go to sleep. It can be just simple things. We all have something to be grateful for. You can read this that means you can be grateful for your eyesight. The point is to make you focus on what you have, instead of what you don’t have.

2. What happened, happened, and you CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Take the time to accept it and don’t get frustrated with yourself for not letting go of your past right away.

3. Watch, read or listen to an inspiring or funny material. Every time I find myself getting frustrated or sad I reach out for a book or a movie. I try to take my mind off my problem. I love watching vlogs on youtube. Do what will take your mind away from your current thoughts.

4. I will say it again, give yourself time. Time heals all wounds. Later, you will realize how much stronger you’ve become.

5. Start doing something productive and creative. Take a dance class, photography class or make youtube channel. Get yourself to do something. Go on a trip or go for daily walks in the park. Spend some time with nature, it will make you feel more relaxed.  Maybe, you should consider changing your diet, start exercising or going for a jog. The goal is to occupy yourself. You can also fully absorb yourself in school work; that’s what I did. If your mind just tells you to not do anything, what you need to do at that moment is to pass through that resistance and actually start doing something; otherwise you will get yourself into a much deeper emotional hole. Be productive. It will make you feel better.

6. The most helpful tip that I came across from reading many self-help books is to start living your life without judging it. Try spending a day just living your life without making any judgements about how you feel and what’s going on in your life. Simply stay neutral.

7. Meditate. Your thoughts are the reasons why you suffer, and the only way you can stop your thoughts is by being in the moment. It takes daily practice to make your mind go quiet, but once you will reach that state you will feel peaceful and happy.

8. Have hope and believe in a beautiful future which is ahead of you.

It’s never too late to change your life. Stay strong and be positive :)

Thank you reading. Please share



  • http://www.whitneyswonderland.com Whitney V

    It’s so important to stay positive, and like you say, remember all the great things in your life and be grateful for them!! Such a good post and inspiring for anyone in need of comfort, which happens to everyone at some point in life.. x



    • http://www.madelinefedmont.com Madeline Fedmont

      Thank you Whitney for reading :)

  • http://mylittlefashiondiary.net Emilie

    Great post. I enjoy your writing :)

    • http://www.madelinefedmont.com Madeline Fedmont

      Thanks Emillie

  • borka

    Love the advice you give …. what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!
    keep it up!

  • http://www.eyeseeeuphoria.com Eye See Euphoria

    Great post! Thanks for sharing.

    Eye See Euphoria I http://eyeseeeuphoria.com/post/vintage-sun

  • http://clothestomidnight.com Maggie

    It’s so difficult dealing with regrets especially when you constantly bombard yourself with negative thoughts. Thanks for the post. It was a great reminder that things will get better eventually.

    Maggie S.

    • http://www.madelinefedmont.com Madeline Fedmont

      Hi Maggie, I know how you feel. Negative thoughts would attack me so much that I didn’t know to get rid of them. It’s hard but we need to keep going. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, it means a lot to me.

  • Fleur Leech

    Finally a blog I want to read! :) Great post!

    I’m following you on Blog Lovin, please follow me back :)

    Fleur x


  • Ting

    Awesome, thanks for sharing! x

    Orange on orange

  • jamie-lee

    Oh what a great post – you’re right, we all get setbacks in life and they can really hold you back if you don’t push past. Thank you for this little reminder! :)


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